You go to attention when someone claps at you in the hallways.
Five hours of practice is a blessing.
There are all sorts of marks on the ceiling of your room from
Your light fixture in your room is permanently broken.
You've replaced more light bulbs in your room than you can count.
Every song you hear, you write guard work to.
All your favorite songs have this one part that would be "perfect
for a rifle feature."
Your hands are permanently black and blue.
You have had more injuries than you'd like to remember...or that
you can remember.
You dance down the hallways at school.
You dance around your house.
All the work your instructor writes, you've done before...they
start recycling your work from other shows.
You can't watch someone else spin next to you without spinning
You protect your weapons like they are your children.
You name your equipment.
You name your drill spots.
As soon as you step onto a football field, you put your head up
and smile at the bleachers, whether or not anyone is there.
You can't name all the shows you've done.
You can't remember the work from the last show you did.
The phrase, "free time" has lost all meaning to you.
The band room is your second home.
You leave a pillow and blanket in the guard room, just in case.
You have a closet full of old guard uniforms, whether you wore
them or not.
You have a drawer full of guard tee-shirts.
Flannel pants are you favorite piece of clothing.
All your guard gloves have holes in the palms.
You don't go one day without spinning.
Doing only 200 drop spins at practice is a blessing.
You've run more laps than the track team.
You've done more push-ups than the football team.
You practice more than the cheerleaders (and still get no credit
You're proud to be called a band fag.
You've slept in the band room.
You've gotten undressed in the band room.
Your principal has seen you without pants on.
The entire band has seen you without pants on.
You'd be at practice, even if you have pneumonia. And you'd be
When people on TV march, you cringe if they're out of step.
You've been called a lesbian more than times than you can count.
You have 7 different kinds of ace bandages, and you have 8 sizes
of each kind.
You know where everything is in the first aid kit.
You have your own set of keys to the band room.
You know that "one more time" never means one more time.
After practice, you hang out in the band room to chat with your
fellow guard members.
You've spent more than 80 hours with the same people in one sitting.
You've seen 3 in the morning.
When you get home at 1 a.m., you are ecstatic.
The waiters at the local diner know you by name.
You've never been in the diner with less than 8 people.
Your personal motto is "Guard is Life."
After high school, you march in college, drum corps, winter guard...etc.
You know how to get any kind of stain out of your uniform.
Skin tight spandex doesn't faze you anymore.
You go out in public wearing practice clothes, and wonder why
people look at you funny.
On your lunch break, when you go to get food, you don't bother
to put on your shoes. And again, you wonder why people look at you funny.
You've performed at 8 pep rallies, although you've never been
a part of one.
At the pep rallies, you and your friends are the only ones to
cheer for the fencing team.
You sing songs you've performed to every day of your life.
Ballroom dancing amazes you.
Anyone who can throw a piece of wood with a strap 100 feet in
the air and catch it becomes your idol.
When 98% of the guys you know are gay.
You've dated/had a crush on a drummer.
You've dated/had a crush on a trumpet player.
You have so many inside jokes with members of your guard, that
you laugh at almost anything that anyone says, because you have a joke about it. (And yet again, you wonder why people look
at you funny.)
You and your friends repeat the same phrases over and over.
When one member gets sick, you all get sick.
You all get your period at the same time.
You remember jokes from years before you actually joined guard.
You refuse to graduate.
You could make one of these lists with little to no effort.
You have a permanent sock tan.
Your hair is 8 different colors.
Your nails don't come past the ends of your fingers.
Your toenails have been painted for as long as you can remember.
(Because you're barefoot so much.)
A half-hour lunch break is considered long.
You start finishing sentences for fellow guard members.
You're not a hooker, but your knees are so bruised, they look
like you could be.
You and the band members get into fights over who's colder on
retreat...and YOU win.
When you go out to diners in your uniform after a show, you wonder
why the waiter looks at you funny.
When you go out to diners with 30 pounds of glitter in your hair,
you wonder why there's glitter in your food.
You own at least 1 Broadway soundtrack, and could probably write
a show to one or more songs on that soundtrack.
When you learn to yell back at the football team.
When you hear so much about people from drum corps, other color
guards, etc., you feel like you know them, but have never actually held a conversation with them.
You date a member of another marching band.
ou go to competitions for the sole purpose of finding a date from
another marching band.
You get disappointed that all the guys you want to date from other
marching bands are gay/have a girlfriend from yet anothermarching band.
When you scream at the gym teachers "Color guard is a sport!!!",
and they agree with you, thereby letting you sit out from running the mile.
Your parents lock up all the brooms/pool cues/umbrellas/etc.
You can do your hair and make-up anywhere.
You can change into your uniform anywhere.
You find yourself designing flags/uniforms/drill in your classes.
You laugh like everyone else on your guard.
You use two hands to tell your left from your right.
You know how many people can be crammed into a minivan.
You spend more time in the band hall than in your house
Your guard has developed its own language.
You went to every school football game but never paid for one.
You can arm wrestle anyone and win.
When you get teary-eyed when you have to put your rifle down so
you can eat dinner.
When you spend all your free time looking for guard-related websites.
When people ask about bruises you didn't even notice you had
When you look for guards in commercials and movies (in Never Been
Kissed, they show a guard. When her car is in the football field!)
When you insist that your crutches will not affect your marching
ability, and what do you mean I can1t spin with broken arms?!
When you catch yourself switching feet to get back on-step with
the background music in the mall
When you can never be 3fashionably late2, cauze you show up for
everything at least 15 minutes early
When vending machine food becomes gourmet.
When you choose a college based on the guard programs nearby
When you use guard tape to fix everything
When five more minutes, Dad, turns into a midnight practice
When you have seen the same WGI or DCI tape a thousand times and
still enjoy it
When you love the black stain from new gloves
You take over guys bathroom when the girls bathroom is full
When you love the black stain from new gloves
You ride around in a school bus more than in your car
You say the pledge of allegiance to YOUR flag
While your non-guard friend sleep with teddy bears and other various
stuffed animals, you sleep with your flag, rifle, and/or sabre (and see nothing unhealthy about it, thank you)
You twirl anything and everything...including brooms, pool sticks, etc.
You can mae a routine to any song.
While listening to the radio or cd's you find
yourself marking time or "air twirling".
You find yourself marking time or in-step with
anyone you walk with, even if they aren't a guardie or band member.
You have no problem sleeping on a bumpy bus
ride with people yelling, singing or with loud music.
You've figured out many ways to change in and
out of uniform on a bumpy bus full of people and you don't care.
You're so used to mooching off of people on
bus rides you don't bring or buy food when you go out.
You have so many bruises from twirling mistakes
people think you're abused.
You can layer clothing very well to keep warm.
You sing show tunes and Disney songs to pass
When someone says attention you stand up and
go to "air attention"